Hello, I want to talk to you today about Self-Talk.
Each of us has a set of messages that play over and over in our mind. This personal commentary, or self-talk, forms our reactions to life and its circumstances. One of the ways to recognize, promote, and sustain Positivity, hope, and joy is to intentionally fill our thoughts with positive self-talk.
Sometimes the pattern of self-talk we’ve developed is negative. We remember the negative things we were told as children by our parents, friends, or teachers. We remember the negative reactions from other children that diminished how we felt about ourselves. Throughout the years, these messages have played over and over in our minds, fueling our feelings of anger, fear, guilt, and hopelessness.
One of the ways I help my clients who suffer from forms of depression or have a negative self-worth, is to identify the source of these messages and then work with the person to intentionally “overwrite” them. If a person learned as a child, he was worthless, we show him how truly special he is. If while growing up a person learned to expect catastrophe and destructive events, I help her find a better way to look at the future.
Try the following exercise. Write down some of the negative messages inside your mind that undermine your ability to overcome your negativity. Be specific, whenever possible, and include anyone you remember who contributed to that message.
Now, take a moment to replace those negative messages with positive truths in your life. Don’t give up if you don’t find them quickly. For every negative message there is a positive truth that will override the weight of that thought. These truths always exist; keep looking until you find them.
You may have a negative message that replays in your head every time you make a mistake. As a child you have been told, “You’ll never amount to anything” or “You can’t do anything right.” When you make a mistake, and you will because we all do, you can choose to overwrite that message with a positive one, such as “I choose to Accept and grow from my mistake” or “As I learn from my mistakes, I am becoming a better person.” During this process, mistakes become opportunities to replace negative views of who you are with positive options for personal development.
Positive self-talk is not lying to yourself. It is not mentally looking at circumstances seeing only what you want to see. It’s actually completely the opposite, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself. One of the fundamental truths of life is that you will make mistakes. To expect perfection in yourself or anyone else is unrealistic. To expect no difficulties in life, whether through your own actions or sheer circumstances, is also unrealistic.
When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk helps to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward. The practice of positive self-talk is often the process that allows you to discover the hidden positivity, hope, and Joy in any given situation.
Getting rid of the negativity and learning how to have productive, positive inner conversations has no downside. Some people may find it easy to adopt positive self-talk while others may have to give it more time and put more effort into it. Either way, it’s a worthwhile step toward bettering yourself and improving your sense of self-worth.
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I also offer a Free Coaching Session for anyone who might be curious about what coaching is, or just needs help in some area of life. This session can be done across the globe by phone, Skype or Facetime and I use this time to establish or clarify your goals and form the framework needed to achieve fulfillment in the areas of your life where you feel you’re struggling.
Finally, if you have any comments, questions or thoughts on how to start talking to yourself in a more positive way, please feel free to leave them in the comments section below or contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you and have a great day!